(Okay, I know that title is pretty bleak, but hear me out.) When my brain is at its tangled worst, I think about Giles Corey, who was crushed to death under suspicion of witchcraft. The feeling of suffocation originates in the centre of the chest, just shy of the heart, and radiates out to the … Continue reading The Directionless Void

I am kind of high-maintenance, and I don't travel well. That isn't to say I'm incompetent or irresponsible; I am simply a challenge to be undertaken, like climbing Machu Picchu, but without the sense of accomplishment. On vacation, I'm the sickly pioneer woman who slows the pace of the whole settlement. I would definitely have … Continue reading Redefining Adventure, Or: They Call Me Hepatitis A Because I Ruin Vacations

So, here's the thing. I never technically defrauded anyone at Disneyland, but I may or may not have been mistaken for a Make-a-Wish child. I've never been sure. As is my approach for so much of life, you, too, will need to ask my mother. My support network is full of persuasive people. It's why … Continue reading An Unrealistic and Unattainable Guide to Getting What You Want

First, let's just get the obvious out of the way. Dinner parties are among the most needlessly draining experiences of adult life. I have this persistent nightmare: I'm at a table for 20, seated elbow-to-elbow between two people I do not know well enough, and they are both turned away from me, engaged in loud … Continue reading Dinner Party Tales

My childhood home was a prime location for a lemonade stand. We were one house away from the corner of a high-traffic road, and the Calgary summer was a dry, punishing brand of heat. We could have made off like bandits. Yet my little brother and I decided to dream bigger. Every kid, we reasoned, … Continue reading The Everything Stand